Naruto Shippuuden 221Posted: August 4, 2011
In my journey in the anime world and fandom, I have come to the realization that “first episode impressions” are about as impressive as “random episode impressions.” People are getting dumber and dumber these days and assume that a “three episode test” – that is, watching the first three episodes of a show to determine if it’s good – works wonders. Some even believe that a three episode test isn’t enough, and that we need more and more episodes to watch before we can determine if an anime is truly good.
Eventually, we’ll reach the point where everybody agrees that watching an entire anime isn’t enough to determine if it’s good. You’d have to write episodics analyzing every last detail of each episode before you can scratch the surface of such a holy and radiant anime.
But enough of that! What I wanted to do was watch a random episode of a random show and see if forcing a “in media res” would tell me anything about the show in question.
I also just wanted to watch Naruto.
Naruto talks with two frogs about flashbacks for 12 minutes and then I threw up all over my keyboard.
Deep down, I wanted to disprove all the crap people give this show. There must be some reason why it got and remains so popular in America. There must be some reason why people dress up as random Naruto characters at AX instead of Mikoto or Eureka or any Nichijou characters. But the conclusion I came to is:
There is no reason why this show should be popular. The half of the episode I managed to get through was a piece of crap. I bet Studio Pierrot has only one guy working on this show, and he’s always drunk and blowing chunks all over the cels and script. I bet he voices the characters too. Or maybe he downloads Naruto soundboards off the internet.
The episode starts off with three ninja guys running down a tunnel, and Snake man (Orochimaru, I assume?) catches them and kills them. And then the OP kicks in. By that point, I was ready for the worst. The animation of the opening minute was horrendous, and the Snake man looked retarded. It was going to be a long, “suspenseful” episode where this Snake dude runs around looking for Naruto or Sasuke or whoever is the protagonist now.
But, no. No, no, no. The episode went on to feature Naruto talking with two frogs about random flashbacks for ten minutes! What’s the point of the Snake man opening, then? Where did he go? I don’t even care for the answers to those questions because this is such a horrible, messy excuse for an anime.
And to top it off, this is from the point of view of somebody who hasn’t watched any previous Naruto episodes! I’m sure that fans have seen the same flashbacks ten times over. Why do they like seeing the same scenes? If they wanted to watch something repetitive, they could go loop Endless Eight. That would be a better use of their time.
My original intent was to use the “random episode test” as an excuse to experience Naruto in all its glory, but now I see that the “random episode test” really works. It told me that Naruto is a disgrace to humanity and that I was a fool for not believing all the people who bashed the show.
I propose that we all ditch the idea of “first impressions” and the “three episode test” and instead opt for the “random episode test.” As I have methodically proven in this post, it works wonders.
P.S.: Shitty anime deserves shitty post. Sorry for this week’s shit. I really wanted to delete this draft, but I couldn’t let all my hard work (sitting through 12 minutes of junk) go to waste. I bet this is how manga bloggers feel about the Bleach manga, too. Except a chapter of that takes only ten seconds to read.
P.P.S.: In other news, I got 7 headshots in one round as a sniper yesterday (in TF2). I’ve found out that the trick is to just keep shooting, because the head hitbox is bigger than you think. I’m still unaccustomed to the Huntsman at close range, but I’m getting pretty good with the regular sniper rifle. Hmm.
P.P.P.S.: I promise next week’s post will be better. In fact, I’ve already written it!