Akikan! 12: Final Verdict on Akikan!

Ain't Otoya-san a funny guy?

To be honest, I was actually looking forward to a good anime with a cool story, and I found it in Akikan!.  Kakeru seemed pretty unique and awesomely perverted, if a little weird, and Melon was a pretty cool character. Budoko was a little annoying, but it was okay.  Otoya was one great character, and made me laugh whenever he came on screen.

Altogether, I give Akikan! a solid 8/10.

 

Warning: Word count = 1836.

 

Two words:

AS.  IF.

It couldn't be more painful!

This anime sucked more than I thought anime could suck.
After watching Mars of Destruction (go check it out – it’s worth a few laughs if your eyes and ears don’t explode), I should’ve known that there are some bad anime out there, but… *sigh*

So on with the episode review, and then a full-blown series review (and I’m serious this time – this is going to be one long post).


Notice how the bandage wraps around his hair, not his head.

It’s even more obvious here: the bandage wraps around Najimi’s two main bangs.

Thank God he took it off!

FAIL-O-METER
A lil’ late, but whatever.  The fail here is tantamount to the size of Japan.  It is horrible, horrible, horrible!  The failure here oozes from every nook and cranny, and covers your eyes and penetrates your ears and makes you feel like you’ve wasted twenty-five minutes of your life watching one incredibly bad anime episode.

In a nutshell, Akikan! 12 was the second-worst episode of the series, beaten in terms of utter nastiness only by the horrible embodiment of epic failure that was episode 10 (and even that is quite a close call).

 

Instances of the “eyes covering hair” technique that Akikan! pioneered…





…. and just about every single scene in this episode.

Obviously, this ending episode had some shitty art quality (that may be an understatement).

But why? (not a rhetorical question here)
Last week’s quality was to help viewers end with a good impression, right?
Then why the hell is this week’s art so damn bad?

Oh, and…

BREAKING NEWS

LOGIC GONE MISSING

Case 1: Free-fall vs. Car


So Miku (on her motorcycle) jumps off a cliff, and Kakeru’s car goes by…

Miku lands a distance away, her motorcycle hits the ground… and Kakeru’s car arrives a few milliseconds later.

If the lack of logic here isn’t apparent enough, take a look at this diagram:

So Miku falls off a cliff (with an initial velocity not much less than that of Kakeru’s car, mind you), and free-falls for ten seconds or so before reaching the bottom.

Airin-kun drives the car at beyond lightspeed down the road down the cliff and arrives at approximately the same time.

Note that the diagram above shows a hypothetical map of the road.  Obviously, the road does not go straight down to where Miku is standing (the difference between the paved road up top and the unpaved land with no road at the bottom of the cliff suggests this) , so Airin-kun would have had to travel to the nearest exit, cut off the road, and somehow get at least 500 ft (the cliff’s height) down in altitude in ten seconds.

In other words, Airin-kun somehow got to the bottom of the cliff faster than if she had simply driven off the cliff.

Plausible?
Hell no.

 

Case 2: Changing Hair Lengths


Note that the black thing she’s wearing is her pants, so her hair goes down well below her waistline (even more so, as she’s hunched over).

And lo and behold, her hair goes to her waistline and no further!

She’s bent over here, but since she was also bent over in the first picture, that’s no excuse for this incredibly crappy quality.

 

Case 3: Hair is as Thin as Paper

No, it’s failure!

It’s hard to tell, but Miku’s hair is flat in this scene.
Her hair basically goes from the frame above to a horizontally flipped frame (as in, the left side is up) and alternates for a good chunk of screentime.

Still, compared to the walking-through-door incident, this can be considered an example of Akikan!‘s not-so-bad animation (and by not-so-bad, I mean “not so bad that it makes you lose faith in animation, anime, and even humanity).

 

MY FACE IS LIKE PUTTY


snapshot20090330163816

Nagi-sama’s many facial expressions

Akikan! characters have as many different facial expressions as Nagi-sama, but the difference is that Nagi-sama’s are actually intended (and are beneficial) whereas the facial expressions of Akikan! characters look like a result of laziness to draw better scenes.

That last screenshot up there doesn’t look deliberate at all (at least the other ones look somewhat intended).
Rather, it looks like a failed attempt at a “serious face” for Kakeru…

Another failed srsface attempt earlier in the series!

 

And then there were the usual Akikan!esque scenes of horrible art

In all honesty, I could probably fill this entire post with frame-by-frame shots of this episode and point out something horribly wrong with each of them, but you’ll have to make do with these two screenshots.

 

And thus ends Akikan!, one of the crappiest anime I’ve ever seen.

Even Kakeru agrees.

So why do I hate this anime so much? (It’s pretty obvious that I hate it, of course)

 

Well, for starters, there’s the art.

The art is unarguably bad.  I doubt even the most avid of Akikan! fanboys could honestly praise this anime for its art.

It’s not even a matter of taste or style (as in Kaiba) anymore – Akikan!‘s art is undeniably the worst art of 2009 anime so far.

When you have Budoko’s entire face changing into weird shapes in the same episode (see the first two screenshots of this post), it’s just a matter of how much time, money, effort, and skill was put into the anime.  It’s not like they intended for scenes to come out like these did…


 

And then we have the story… oh god.

Protip: Akikan! was the first anime I decided to pick up from the get-go. (I started watching anime hardcoar from around Dec. ’08, so that’d explain this.)
Why?
Because of its story (and its early airing…).
A guy who drinks some juice that turns into a girl?  “Weird, I’ll check it out.”

Plus the first episode showed some serious promise.
Akikan Elect?  Gay government official?  Perverted male lead?
Awesome much? 

So I was just like…

And so it turned out… “No, not awesome.”

The Akikan Elect idea was in no way fleshed out.
Yell and Melon are really the only participants we see in this tournament (Budoko turns into a failed form of comic relief somewhere along the line), but Kakeru is a hoar and doesn’t ever let a full battle play out (the closest we ever get to action via the Akikan Elect idea is that battle at the ball park).

 

The filler episode (episode 10) was so badly placed, I can’t believe it.
When you’re nearing the end of the series, you don’t go and throw in a random filler episode with the worst art and animation (and not to mention plotline, or lack thereof) in the entire anime.

No.  Rather, you try and build up some plot so that the following episode (episode 11) doesn’t show a sudden explosion in plot.
No matter how good the art and animation is in the episode before the final episode, it doesn’t matter if you go and chuck a random shitty episode at the viewer beforehand.  It’s like giving a cake to somebody whom you just forced to eat three buckets of mud.  It tastes good, but why the hell would you make him eat the mud?  It’s not logical, and it’s just a downright crappy strategy.

 

And the ending… oh, jesus.  I’ve spent quite a bit of post here talking about episode 12, but now I’ll talk about the plot in the episode.
Basically, stuff happens, and you’ve got another girl in the Kakeru harem.
Great.  A nearly-deus ex machina ending (like, wtfMeloncomesbackmagically?!) for Akikan!?
Give me a break.

I know that Melon has to come back, but when you’ve got Otoya to the rescue –> Yell and Budoko come out –> super melon attack beats Miku, there’s something wrong with the plot.

I knew this was coming ever since the filler episode two weeks back: a stupid rushed ending resulting from the “let’s put little to no plot in the first ten episodes” mentality.  Bah.

Characters? You mean these things?

“Okay, so the plot sucks.  But take a look at Kannagi, and you’ll see that the entire anime rides on the awesomeness of the characters.”

True that, but Akikan! is no such anime.

Budoko is annoying.  Her voice doesn’t sound like a child’s voice – unless it’s an alien child with a lisp.

Misaki sucks.  She appears once or twice in the series until episode 11, when we are suddenly assaulted with background information about her that nobody really cares about.  I didn’t even remember her name, and had to wiki it to find out.

Yell sucks.  Her mentality of “owner first” shouldn’t affect her brainpower as much as it does.
She shouldn’t not be able to stop.  Najimi asks her to stop attacking Kakeru, and she still does?  Jesus.

Kochikaze sucks.
She’s a witch, great!
Now let’s see some more of he-  Wait, the series already ended?

Gigolo is only funny for his name.
Otherwise, the running gag of him failing to confess to Kochikaze is just annoying.

Najimi sucks.
She is just your run-of-the-mill stereotypical “shy childhood friend” character with nothing outstanding except for her incredibly-inferior-to-Chiaki’s-leaf moving ahoge.

Melon sucks.  She falls for Kakeru’s jokes everytime, and rarely (if at all) questions Kakeru’s speech, which usually turns out to be some sort of perverted remark or request.

Airin-kun sucks.  Her affection for cats is random, and does not contribute anything (even comedy) to the series.
Her running gag of “Kizaki desu” is annoying, and isn’t even funny to anybody outside of Japan (and even there, it’s barely making it past “cracking a half-smile after the first instance of the gag”). 

And then we have Kakeru himself.
His perverted thoughts are what singlehandedly drive the humor of this series.  (Well, Otoya helps quite a bit, but he’s missing in many episodes…)
It’s funny the first few times (and in this epic scene) when Kakeru shows his perverted side… and then it just gets…

  1. Repetitive
  2. Predictable
  3. Stupid

I don’t care how perverted Kakeru can be, but as long as his jokes follow the same format over and over again (either “tell person something perverted –> person says perverted thing –> mad at Kakeru” or “do perverted thing –> people get mad or embarrassed”), I don’t see any lasting (and sometimes, even immediate) value in his jokes.

When it comes down to it, Otoya is the best character (I’m picking the best of the worst here) of the lot.  >__>;

 

I give this anime…

3/10

…rounded up from a 2.5 (1.0 is as low as MAL goes, so 1.0 is my lowest too).

 

God, that was a long post. @__@”


3 Comments on “Akikan! 12: Final Verdict on Akikan!”

  1. RubyweaponDSX says:

    You had me at “eyes covering hair”

  2. […] the same mindset as Akikan!, Kurokami also pulls off a “this-defies-the-laws-of-physics” scene worthy of the […]


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