Five things I’d do in Tokyo

Posted: June 15, 2009 | Author: flomu | Filed under: Uncategorized |12 Comments »

This post was originally supposed to be “Five things I’d do in Japan,” but since all of them can be put into Tokyo, and since that sounds like I might live in Japan, except outside of Tokyo, here’s your new title.

Note that these are not in any specific order.

Also note that this actually isn’t a filler post.  I honestly had this idea in my mind for a day or so before putting it here.  (You are free to argue that that has nothing to do with this being/not being a filler post.  I will ignore your comments on this matter and/or alter them.)

1. Try and find Danny Choo in his stormtrooper outfit

Obligatory thing to do is obligatory.

Since I am a blogger, and since I blog about an aspect of Japanese media, it is only natural that I would want to visit the most famous (well, IMO) Japanese blogger in the world.

Just some facts about my and Danny Choo’s relationship:

1. I have visited his site less than fifty times
2. I have read something on his site besides registration information twice
3. I am only putting this on here because I ran out of things to do in Tokyo
4. I have a feed of his posts on this blog only because blog aggregator otaku.fm requires it
5. Otaku.fm has never helped me get more than two and a fifth views a day
6. I don’t like Star Wars that much
7. I think DC is one of the most horribly designed blogs/websites in the history of badly designed blogs/websites
8. I get lost at DC
9. I find DC very boring

2. Travel with a white guy

Because I’m Chinese and I speak English, I am not your average gaijin in Japan.  Rather, I am “that Chinese bastard who tries to appear superior by speaking the language of the awesome country of America!”

Thus to establish my place as an American and not of the “Chinese scum” (and thus be on the receiving end of the hypothetical racism sword), I would travel with a white friend.  Thus people would have to accept me as the epic man that I am, not some person who supports a nation that could hit Japan with a missile.  Though Japan always has Doraemon.

Now to acquire a white otaku friend…

3. Visit Akihabara

This is a given.  As an otaku (or rather, “a fan of Japanese animation”), I zenzen have to declare my buring desire to visit a district filled with people that I cannot talk to, things that I cannot understand even if I decide to purchase them, and passersby who would rather gawk at my white buddy before talking to be, the Chinese dude.

My utmost desire would be to visit this dense area filled with shops and try to fit in with my “fellow” otaku while being obviously non-Japanese.  Oh boy, do I love anime!  Japan is awesome.

4. Visit Shibuya

This is also a given.

I played and beat The World Ends With You in two days.  Because I managed to play through such a long game in only two days, my brain was fried, my eyes were boiled, my hands were roasted, and the images of Shibuya were grilled into my memory.  Hell, I bet I could fit in if I went to Shibuya if I weren’t so obviously American.

But really, I’d want to see the 109 building, that dog statue, and the bridge.  And I’d also like to break through that wall and get into a random mansion, beat up some Noise, and suddenly get into the real world.

I had a TWEWY player pin on my backpack, and it got all rusty on the inside of the plastic film, making it look zetta cool.  Then it fell off and now I’m sad.

5. Eat Melon Bread

I want to try some of this shit so bad, it’s not even funny.  I found one at a nearby Asian bakery a year or so ago, but it had some weird filling inside (red bean paste?), and it didn’t really taste that good.

A lot of the Asian bakeries around where I live stuff their bread with a bunch of random stuff like sausages, green onions, red bean paste, cream, etc.  Some have taro bread.  I hate that stuff.  Taro is nasty.

I’d also like to try some chocolate cornets, but I guess I could get some in America.  Maybe a well-made bento instead of the stuff I found at a nearby convenience store?  Or just some Pocky would be fine.  Hell, I don’t think it really matters.  I bet that if I brought some of the Pocky I have at home to Japan and ate it, it would taste like heaven.

Let’s put some more lines here to make this seem like a longer post.

I think hitting enter a few

more

times will make it look like I wrote a lot too.

FILLERFILLERFILLER

Disclaimer
This was not a filler post.

Also, I do not harbor any hatred for Japanese people.  Though it’d be pretty damn annoying to live in Japan as a Chinese guy, to say the least.

My satire and faggotry know no bounds.

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