{"id":6516,"date":"2012-08-26T10:05:08","date_gmt":"2012-08-26T17:05:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/?p=6516"},"modified":"2018-12-20T00:03:53","modified_gmt":"2018-12-20T07:03:53","slug":"sword-art-online-episode-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/2012\/08\/sword-art-online-episode-8\/","title":{"rendered":"Sword Art Online Episode 8"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

“This plate armor… it’s so soft…”<\/p>\n

There comes a time in every blogger’s life when he\/she comes across an episode beyond redemption. \u00a0I have been able to sit through seven episodes of this kind without rageblogging, but now that episode 8 of SAO proved to fail miserably in every single frame, I have no choice but to kick and scream and break shit until episode 9 breaks my expectations of how low an anime can get.<\/p>\n

I don’t have the time or energy to give a minute-by-minute rundown of how terrible an episode this was, so I’ll just gloss over the obvious parts and delve into the details. \u00a0Some of the more glaring bits were…<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Asuna was on top of Kirito for 14 seconds, and that entire scene lasted a full minute. \u00a0So 5% of an episode was wasted on some super predictable and cliche fanservice that neither contributed anything to the plot\/character development nor made any attempts to be titillating. \u00a0I was nodding off.<\/li>\n
  2. The discrimination against “beaters” 2 years into the game when NOBODY ACTUALLY CARES. \u00a0Asuna and Kirito even say that only 500 people are still front-lining. \u00a0There’s so much wrong with this petty conflict that explaining it isn’t worth my time.<\/li>\n
  3. The continuing predictability of “everybody underestimates Kirito even though he’s the famous Black Knight whatever” to forcefully make Kirito look like the underdog. \u00a0The only thing is that IT’S NOT WORKING, GUYS! \u00a0Every episode up until now has Kirito looking like a badass while defeating some super low level people\/monsters (in comparison to his skill). \u00a0Why would you brag about killing Slimes? \u00a0Same thing.<\/li>\n
  4. Hooded bad guy. \u00a0OHH FORESHADOWING yeah right<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    “I wish Asuna-sama would smash her breasts into my face…”<\/p>\n

    Asuna’s Lackey<\/h3>\n

    Asuna’s lackey\/stalker probably broke this episode for everybody. \u00a0He gets up in Kirito’s ass right from the get-go and refuses to come out until the great underdog beats (haha get it) him in a one-on-one duel. \u00a0He’s the main antagonist of the episode, and looks the part. \u00a0Unlike our dashing hero and his many damsels-in-distress, Kuradeel is old, his name is tough to remember, and he actually looks like somebody who can get shit done – everything Kirito isn’t. \u00a0And to top it off, he starts raging about the beaters. \u00a0It’s almost as if the animators want us to hate him.<\/p>\n

    Since that would make it easier when he really becomes an antagonist:<\/p>\n

    Oh, I thought he would become a bad guy ALL ALONG. \u00a0Man, I feel so smart. \u00a0I figured this out all by myself without any help.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    It’s like watching Death Note and thinking it’s a really deep anime when it actually just tells you everything up front. \u00a0Or Code Geass. \u00a0Or any anime with a bunch of thought put into it on the animator\/creator’s side, and then the staff get so excited that they point out their brilliant plot at every step of the way until it becomes blatant and predictable. \u00a0Predictable because they already tell you what’s going to happen.<\/p>\n

    SAO is like Death Note and Code Geass in that sense… except it doesn’t actually have any thought put into it. \u00a0It’s just a bunch of cliche scenes strung together, filled in between by bouts of “LOOK, THIS IS WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT,” as if we didn’t already know.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    “… can I test the durability of your chest plate?”<\/p>\n

    A true MMO<\/h3>\n

    Continuing on from the Kirito vs. Lackey duel, I need to point out that SAO does try to incorporate MMO elements into the show. \u00a0The duel, for example, could have been one of three different types, etc. \u00a0I especially liked the bit about green players luring in people to be player killed by their yellow\/red guildmates (a few episodes ago). \u00a0It was a nice touch. \u00a0But SAO has many moments of inconsistency, both with its own rules and with expected MMO behavior.<\/p>\n

    The best example from this episode was Asuna stepping in on the duel<\/strong>. \u00a0It’s going on inside a town\/safe area, and she’s not part of their duel. \u00a0So why is she allowed to step in and knock away Kuradeel’s dagger?<\/p>\n

    Answer: She’s not<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

    Recall the mystery arc of episodes 5 and 6. \u00a0The gimmick was that players could wear out the durability of their armor and teleport at the same time to make it look like they’ve died<\/strong>. \u00a0Not bad. \u00a0But how do the teleport stones actually work? \u00a0You’d think the “dying” guy would have to take it out and use it. \u00a0Given the crappy UI of SAO, this means he has to scroll around in his backpack to find it, then pull out a glowing blue stone, and use it. \u00a0The first victim “died” in the middle of a city, with dozens of people watching, and nobody saw a huge, shining stone in his hand? \u00a0And come to think of it, there’s no player locating mechanism in SAO? \u00a0Even MapleStory has that.<\/p>\n

    Why is there even an option of attacking a sword in your inventory<\/strong>? \u00a0Why would the game creator add such a pointless action?<\/p>\n

    What’s the point of the Ragout Rabbit<\/strong>? \u00a0Is the only benefit of an S-class ingredient its taste? \u00a0No buffs? \u00a0Really?<\/p>\n

    Fewer than 500 people<\/strong> are fighting at the front lines! \u00a0Wow, so few! \u00a0It’s as if episode 2 showed 2,000 people against the Kobold boss instead of 20!<\/p>\n

    And the very worst offense out of everything…<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    “I want breasts…”<\/p>\n

    STOP BEING SO SURPRISED AT EVERYTHING<\/p>\n

    I criticized episode 2 for its poor depiction of MMO culture, mostly because the players (who were all midnight-purchase types who bought the first 10,000 copies) were so amazed by every little thing that SHOULD BE COMMONPLACE IN ANY RPG. \u00a0Or any game, for that matter. \u00a0Back then, the players were impressed by the Kobold boss for being big. \u00a0That’s not\u00a0big<\/a><\/em>. \u00a0And now that TWO YEARS<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/span> have passed, why is Kirito still surprised at how cooking works? \u00a0He has even cooked before!<\/p>\n

    Oh wow, this is so different from how cooking works in the real world (which I haven’t seen in over seven hundred days). \u00a0I guess I’d better make a stupid surprised look because this is the first time cooking has been shown to the audience. \u00a0This way, they can be amazed with me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Too bad this doesn’t work when the audience isn’t surprised to begin with.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    “Hey guys, I’m your average boss monster.”<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    Kirito: “OH SHIT, HE HAS FOUR HEALTH BARS,\u00a0JUST LIKE THE FIRST BOSS!!!”<\/p>\n

    Asuna: “Buy my figures. \u00a0They come with free boobs.”<\/p>\n

    The Ending<\/h3>\n

    To be honest, all of this could have been put up in the MMO section above. \u00a0But since the episode decided to end by taking a huge dump on my face, I’ll respond in kind.<\/p>\n

    As the captions above suggest, this is another characters-look-too-surprised-at-regular-stuff offense. \u00a0It’s as if they didn’t fight 74 other similar-looking bosses. \u00a0Maybe it’s the fire. \u00a0Or the name. \u00a0Why “The Gleam Eyes” anyway?<\/p>\n

    I really like how whenever Kirito goes near something dangerous, he tells other people to ready a telestone<\/strong>. \u00a0It hasn’t ever worked before (at least from what we’ve been shown), and there are so many areas that you cannot teleport out of. \u00a0You’d think a BOSS ROOM would be included in that list. \u00a0Why are they even allowed to peek inside a room? \u00a0It should be a whole different area, or else you’d be able to spam the boss from outside the doorway.<\/p>\n

    Worst of all, there was all this wasted build-up to the ending. \u00a0Something is clearly going to go wrong with just “taking a peek,” and the previous failures of the telestones all point to OOPS WE’RE TRAPPED IN A ROOM WITH THE BOSS. \u00a0But the episode doesn’t end with suspense (doors close behind them, for example). \u00a0Instead, we’re treated to Asuna and Kirito looking like the idiots they are, being all surprised at your normal boss. \u00a0Wow, I’m really looking forward to the next episode. \u00a0They might as well stand there wide-eyed for another 24 minutes. \u00a0It just can’t get any worse.<\/p>\n

    SAO had promise<\/h3>\n

    It really did. \u00a0It made a whole new world that drew from both MMOs and fantasy. \u00a0Even after it veered off into the realm of side-stories, I still clung onto a tiny bit of false hope that a bunch of disconnected episodes could give a unique perspective on the huge, 100-floor world. \u00a0But it abandoned its fantastic premise, turned the difficulty down to jokingly-easy, and supported itself with weak conflict, weak characters, and a whole lot of overused shit that has never worked before. \u00a0But hey, at least it’s marketable.<\/p>\n

    The light novel is better blah blah blah<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    If there’s content in there that can produce this crap, no thanks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    “This plate armor… it’s so soft…” There comes a time in every blogger’s life when he\/she comes across an episode beyond redemption. \u00a0I have been able to sit through seven episodes of this kind without rageblogging, but now that episode 8 of SAO proved to fail miserably in every single frame, I have no choice […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26,25,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6516","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-episodics","category-reviews","category-shit"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2zM4X-1H6","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6516","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6516"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6516\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7807,"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6516\/revisions\/7807"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6516"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6516"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6516"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}