{"id":1841,"date":"2009-04-22T01:43:39","date_gmt":"2009-04-22T08:43:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mikoto.wordpress.com\/?p=1841"},"modified":"2009-04-22T01:43:39","modified_gmt":"2009-04-22T08:43:39","slug":"fullmetal-alchemist-03-epic-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/2009\/04\/fullmetal-alchemist-03-epic-fail\/","title":{"rendered":"Fullmetal Alchemist 03: Epic fail"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Unarguably the best scene in the entire episode.<\/p><\/div>\n

Okay, so I got halfway through the episode and then I made the previous post<\/a> (which JR disproved…\u00a0\u2510(\u00b4\u30fc\uff40)\u250c\u00a0). \u00a0Now, after watching the last ten minutes, I’ve found that this episode was HORRIBLE<\/span><\/strong><\/span>.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Instead of going down the list, point by point, I’ve decided to go through my files, screenshot by screenshot. \u00a0This way, I probably won’t miss any of the epic failure that as present here.<\/p>\n

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Recurring jokes\/gags turn me off. \u00a0Five times an episode is five times the turn off.
\nOKAY, HE’S SHORT. \u00a0I GET IT ALREADY.<\/p>\n

In other news, there’s a MAL club called “Sympathy for Edward Elric<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

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Because you always need random people flying across the screen when you’re describing something that has nothing to do with random shadow-face zombies<\/a>. \u00a0Oh wait, “the dead are resurrected” …maybe these random zombieface people are the resurrected dead people!<\/p>\n

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My, what an enormous chin<\/a> you have!<\/p>\n

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“Girl” seen praying at altar.<\/p>\n

What do you do?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Strike up a conversation.<\/li>\n
  2. Force conversation towards recurring joke.<\/li>\n
  3. Talk as if you’ve known her for years.<\/li>\n
  4. Use lots of split-screens<\/li>\n
  5. All of the above and more.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The answer is obviously #5.<\/p>\n

    I can’t believe how rushed and awkward this conversation was. \u00a0It’s like “Hey random person! \u00a0I think I love you. \u00a0Oranges are better than lampshades and Lelouch is dead, bitch! \u00a0PLOT PLOX”<\/p>\n

    If K-ON!<\/em>\u00a003 was a drawn-out 4koma, then this episode was a ten-volume series condensed into one meaningless clip twenty-some minutes long.<\/p>\n

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    SPLIT-SCREEN MANIA<\/p>\n

    I swear, there were at least ten different split-screens in this episode.<\/p>\n

    I don’t think a simple flashback needs to be condensed into half the screen.
    \nNor does a dialogue need to be split up to show who’s talking to whom.<\/p>\n

    Usually, this is used for emphasis.
    \nThe only thing that the split screens emphasized for me in here was that BONES is running out of ideas.<\/p>\n

    \"\"\"\"<\/p>\n

    You look familiar…<\/p>\n

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    Also, “Rose, fire it.”<\/p>\n

    I can’t stress how rushed this made the episode seem.<\/p>\n

    We just meet this girl, and nine minutes into the episode, we’re at the point where said girl is holding a gun at Ed at the command of chin-man. \u00a0When I got here, I actually paused the file and stared at the 9 minute time. \u00a0I just couldn’t believe how fast the plot advanced in nine minutes.<\/p>\n

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    The holy priest comes out of a door in the wall that appeared out of nowhere with a huge gun in one hand.<\/p>\n

    Obviously, you shut up and chase after a kid and a guy in a suit of armor!<\/p>\n

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    One guy is holding a handgun. \u00a0One guy is holding a wooden pole.
    \nI’m guessing that the latter was too poor to get a gun.<\/p>\n

    The guy on the far right isn’t even armed…
    \nHe looks the most Asian too. \u00a0What a racist anime.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    My, it’s windy up here!<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    “We want to get our bodies back. \u00a0We might lose our lives in order to do that.”<\/p>\n

    Their true objective:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Get bodies<\/li>\n
    2. Get killed\/commit suicide<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Because it doesn’t matter if you die, as long as you get your body back (FYI: PARADOX ALERT MUCH?).<\/p>\n

      \"\"\"\"\"\"<\/p>\n

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      Pinkies up!<\/p><\/div>\n

      I don’t know what’s worse: this guy’s face, his chin, or his color changing eyes.<\/p>\n

      Oh, and building off of that second screenshot…<\/p>\n

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      Because asking rhetorical-ish questions is a must for evil characters!<\/p>\n

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      And what minor character development we have in her is predictable beyond belief. \u00a0What, is she going to walk away whistling? \u00a0OF COURSE NOT.<\/p>\n

      \"\"<\/p>\n

      Can’t see why this is a messed up picture?<\/p>\n

      Here, I hope this makes it easier:<\/p>\n

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      The shadows are enormous.<\/p>\n

      Too enormous.<\/p>\n

      Pratically “physically impossible” enormous.<\/p>\n

      I think I finally understand your blog name<\/a>\u00a0(“Shadows of Eternity”), Ayano!<\/p>\n

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      Yay for a cliffhanger that nobody cares about<\/strong> because the audience either…<\/p>\n