{"id":244,"date":"2011-06-23T12:00:06","date_gmt":"2011-06-23T19:30:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/misakithursday.wordpress.com\/?p=244"},"modified":"2011-06-23T12:00:06","modified_gmt":"2011-06-23T19:30:06","slug":"tidlan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/flomu.net\/blog\/2011\/06\/tidlan\/","title":{"rendered":"International Saimoe League 2011: Amethyst Period Round 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Today, I’m going to look at the most recent results of ISML (at the time of me writing this post) and deduce what kind of people are actually participating. \u00a0From there, I will go on to predict how badly Tenshi\/Kanade will lose to Mikoto Misaka in the finals this year (in hundreds of thousands of votes). In this scientific analysis, I approximate the voter base as falling into four groups:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Mikoto Misaka fans<\/li>\n
  2. Boobs<\/li>\n
  3. The Moe Mob<\/li>\n
  4. I-Idiots<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The first group needs no explanation. \u00a0Any sane, rational being with any tiny semblance of a functional brain would fall under this category. \u00a0Of course, if you don’t want to be seen as a totally retarded dumb butt, you could start voting for Mikoto Misaka, but I guess that’s your choice. \u00a0I won’t hold it against you, since you probably don’t know any better – poor souls!<\/p>\n

    Boobs refers to the ecchi-loving community. \u00a0These guys are the people who like crappy shows like Sora no Otoshimono and Zero no Tsukaima. \u00a0There aren’t many Boobs in ISML, since they’re too busy watching Eiken and stuff to care about the characters whose boobs they’re looking at.<\/p>\n

    The Moe Mob consists mainly of K-ON! fans who would stop at nothing to promote their shitty characters. \u00a0They support characters whose only traits are having really ugly teeth – almost like…\u00a0beavers<\/a>. \u00a0We must be wary of these sneaky bastards, yet they aren’t our true enemy.<\/p>\n

    I-Idiots are those demented creatures that love Angel Beats so much that they think Kanade is a good character with feelings and shit. \u00a0They are the ones who cried for hours after watching Angel Beats even though nobody is sure what exactly happened in that terrible anime. \u00a0Some of them try to get off the hook by claiming that they know Angel Beats has faults but that they love it anyway. \u00a0No! \u00a0You can’t do that! \u00a0Angel Beats doesn’t just have minor faults – it has massive ones! \u00a0The entire last episode is a confusing hodge-podge of crap mixed with crap and topped off with crap sauce. \u00a0Angel Beats sucks, basically.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

    I’m just going to go down the line, match-by-match, and assign points to each group.<\/p>\n

    Match #1:\u00a0Shinonono H\u014dki (2788) lost to\u00a0Seraphim (2933).<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/strong>Looks like the Boobs are having an internal struggle: Mecha boobs vs. Vampire Ninja boobs! \u00a0In the end, Seraphim won because her boobs are bigger. \u00a0Plus her name is shorter – the members of the Boobs faction aren’t too bright and can’t remember more than eight letters at a time.<\/p>\n

    Boobs: -1 point for being dumb and not banding together<\/p>\n

    Match #2: Tachibana Kanade (4481) won against\u00a0Saber (2289).<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/strong>Our fated enemy, the I-Idiots! \u00a0Kanade pulls off a big win because most of the I-Idiots mindlessly vote for Kanade, no matter who the opposition is. \u00a0It’s like how they write about how awesome Angel Beats is when everybody can see the show’s glaring faults. Kanade isn’t really moe. \u00a0She’s like a dead Yuki Nagato who completely changes her personality in the last episode. \u00a0Yuki is pretty moe and cool and is a worthy opponent for Mikoto. \u00a0Yuki’s rotting, smiling corpse (aka Kanade) isn’t cool and should be thrown out with burnable trash on Monday or Thursday<\/em>. \u00a0Actually, maybe a Yuki corpse should be oversized trash. \u00a0I’m not too clear on the trash collection policies of Japan. \u00a0All I know is that burnable trash is collected twice a week, non-burnables and recyclables are once a week, and oversized is… I don’t know. \u00a0I think 2DT would know. \u00a0Maybe I’ll ask him.<\/p>\n

    I-Idiots: +2 points for winning<\/p>\n

    Saber: +1 point for effort<\/p>\n

    Trash: +0 points for lack of knowledge<\/p>\n

    Match #3: Sengoku Nadeko (2790) lost to\u00a0Eucliwood Hellscythe (3627)<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/strong>Demo<\/a> sonna n ja dame~ Mou sonna n ja hora~<\/p>\n

    Kokoro wa shinka suru yo motto motto~!<\/p>\n

    What happened to Nadeko love? \u00a0A couple of days before the full version of Renai Circulation came out, Twitter and etc. were crazy about the song, and about Nadeko, and (more importantly) about KANA HANAZAWA. I guess a lot of people saw the picture and were so bewildered by KanaHana (or was it HanaKana? \u00a0KanaKana? \u00a0Katakana?) that they picked Yuu instead of Nadeko by accident.<\/p>\n

    It happens, it happens.<\/p>\n

    Just make sure it doesn’t happen again<\/em>.<\/p>\n

    Nadeko: +3 points for being ~kawaii~!<\/p>\n

    KanaHana: +1 point<\/p>\n

    I-Idiots: -1 point because I don’t like them<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n

    Match #4: Yui (4610) won against Shiina (1500)<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/strong>For all the non-Angel Beats groupies out there, these two utterly useless and annoying characters both come from that demonic hell-hole of an anime people sometimes refer to as Angel Beats. \u00a0Both characters are completely forgettable. \u00a0Admit it – you wouldn’t know them by name unless somebody told you they were from Angel Beats, showed you several pictures of them, and made you watch an episode of the damn show, all the while pointing out where the characters appear.<\/p>\n

    It’s interesting how Yui got so many more votes than Shiina. \u00a0In my opinion, they should each have gotten less than five votes. \u00a0I think the Boobs had something to do with this. \u00a0Maybe they saw how short Yui’s name was and decided to vote for her.<\/p>\n

    I-Idiots: +1 for winning, -2 for losing to themselves<\/p>\n

    Boobs: +1 for sabotage<\/p>\n

    Match #5:\u00a0Charlotte Dunois (3774) won against\u00a0Iwasawa Asami (2494)<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/strong>Mecha Boobs versus Angel Beats! \u00a0Surprisingly, the one white girl with boobs and mecha and stuff beat that angel beats girl who died really early on. \u00a0Actually, that could be part of the reason. \u00a0Iwasawa wasn’t much of a character, even in the context of such a horrid show like Angel Beats. \u00a0I mean, she wasn’t an Angel and she wasn’t a Beats. \u00a0She wasn’t even beaten. \u00a0And by the time the confusing-as-hell finale came along, she’d already gone far, far away. All the Kanade supporters were probably bawling their eyes out at that point. \u00a0Their short attention spans prevent them from remembering a character that only showed up in the first half of the series.<\/p>\n

    It’s kind of like how nobody remembers Index or Kamina. \u00a0Wait, no. \u00a0Just Index.<\/p>\n

    I-Idiots: -1 for losing<\/p>\n

    Boobs: +1 for winning<\/p>\n

    Kamina: +2 gar<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n

    Match #6:\u00a0Hirasawa Ui (3114) lost to\u00a0Konjiki no Yami (3258)<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/strong>Yeah, I could really care less about these two characters. \u00a0Instead, the picture above (one of Crazydave<\/a>‘s many twitter avatars) reminded me of earwax.<\/p>\n

    When people talk to me, I often get them to repeat what they say several times before I finally hear it. \u00a0Sometimes it’s because I genuinely don’t care about what they’re talking about, but at other times it feels like my ears are clogged. …and they were! \u00a0Well, my right one at least.<\/p>\n

    I was picking my right ear the other day, and I felt something. \u00a0Something big. \u00a0Something nasty. \u00a0It was like casting a line into the water and catching Moby Dick. \u00a0The whale of an earwax chunk came right out of my ear, and suddenly I could hear again! \u00a0It was the best feeling, on par with stretching your legs after sitting in front of your computer all day (and that sex thing, though I<\/em>wouldn’t know about that).<\/p>\n

    The dry, yellowish chunk of earwax was around a centimeter in diameter and resembled my failed attempts at making a paper frog. \u00a0When I stretched the chunk out, it turned out to be a good inch in length. After doing some research online, I discovered that the cause of this enormous piece of earwax was my love for sticking things into holes. \u00a0More specifically, I love sticking Q-tips into my ears. \u00a0This pushes the earwax deeper into my ears and causes a massive buildup. Now I’m worried about my left ear. More interesting things about earwax (from Wikipedia):<\/p>\n